Enabled by God

This is an ode to bleh.

Where joy and heartache rarely ever meet. This is where we live.

We don’t live in the demon possessed valley and we don’t live on the spiritually soaring mountaintop. We do visit there on occasion, but we don’t dwell there long. We live somewhere in between. Where bills, sitcoms, social networks and daily routine takes up residence in our souls. Where the dull glare of a TV or computer screen sheds light on our dull heart, and we know we should be doing something else with our time. Yet we rarely do it.

We have more time on our hands than we are letting on. It’s just mostly filled with the fluff of Facebook, or Jersey Shore, or someone else’s life in general. The vicarious existence is the easiest to come by, so we can soothe our inconsolable longings without ever leaving a comfortable chair.

Sometimes it is not blatant immorality that sets itself up against our souls, but boredom and lackadaisical living.

Maybe one of the most obvious yet missed points in Scripture is that God is not boring, we are.

In his book, The Weight of Glory, CS Lewis brings this human dilemma to the gospel light. It’s one of his most notable quotes, and it wounds me afresh nearly every time I read it:

“Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

My heart cries “YES!” to this truth, though my experience consistently falls short of it. I know Who offers infinite joy to me. I know Who grants permanent pleasure for all eternity. Yet I am still far too easily pleased with status quo spirituality.

Think about the life, death and resurrection of God’s dear Son. Think about the horrifying wrath He took away, and the incomprehensible grace He gives to wretched sinners forever.

In the shadow of these awe inspiring truths, it’s a scandal how little I fall on my face in fear and wonder of God. It’s disgusting that I would spend one waking moment using my time and resources for self. It’s a joke that every word in every conversation I have is not exalting the excellencies of this God Man.

I’m an ignorant child, indeed.

But in spite of this, and even because of this, He is a loving Father.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (1 John 3:1)

Thank you Father for the monotony and drudgery of life. For they reveal my deep need of Your mercy, and the deep love You have bestowed on me in my fledgling ignorance.

My love for my son, Josiah, is no less when he is sleeping than when he is awake. My fatherly affections burn for him whether he knows it or not. Whether that love is reciprocated is of no matter to me.

A heavenly Father’s heart still blazes toward His bored and detached children. In time, they will see His strong hand and embrace where they once supposed they were alone. He will wake them up from their sinking stupor with one word and one call.

Let’s cry out together knowing our Father delights in giving good gifts to His children (Luke 11:13): Abba, do it quickly!

Bryan

It seems there has been another fallen angel sighting according to some in the cultural Christian music scene and a few message board “insiders.” This most recent scandal has come through the thriving ministry of a shining star in the rock/worship genre of contemporary Christian music. His work has consisted in leading passionate droves of young people in worship conferences across the globe; his singles have topped the CCM charts the past couple years; maybe most impressively, in just a short time, his music has entered the very fabric of the life of worship in many local church bodies.

If all allegations are true regarding the rumormongering, I trust his local church body is leading the process of church discipline. I don’t want to use this as an opportunity to break a potentially already bruised reed. The best we can do is pray that God will grant repentance, restoration and healing for all those in involved.

But God in His mercy can also use this incident as a profitable exhortation and rebuke. Not to the scandal ridden, but to us.

As counterintuitive as it should be, for those in cultural Christianity, mega-conference speakers and worship leaders hold highly coveted positions. For many, to reach the life of a touring headliner is the penultimate regarding success in “Christian terms.” Dare I say, it’s even a bit sexy to be that guy or girl (for the Beth Moore fans) on the marquee…for the glory of God of course.

It’s natural to want a ministry like a Chris Tomlin or a John Piper (I do!), but we must realize that with a spotlight comes a bull’s eye. Temptations and pitfalls of all sort increase exponentially as Christian leaders step into more prominent roles in ministry. Why don’t we have the platform they do? Why don’t we have a record contract or a book deal like them? God’s grace is why. We may not be able to handle such public success without letting worldly pride and the lusts of the flesh seep in and destroy our very souls. Would we sell out and defame the name of the eternal King in exchange for the addictive and temporary praise of man? God in His infinite mercy is protecting you from yourself.

We vex our mind praying for a future ministry like this high profile speaker/worship leader/theologian etc., while we should be praying to be more like Jesus right now to the person right next to us.

The guilty party in this situation is just a man. Flesh and bones and a fallen nature like ours. This speaks to our unhealthy propensity to put mere men on pedestals they can never live up to. We act like the anointing and movement of God somehow depends on their songs and their sermons. Scandals like this can sometimes be lucid reminders Who the only Grace giver is in our lives. There are no mighty men of God. Just broken vessels in need of His daily grace through Christ (Romans 7:24-25).

In the end, all men will fall prostrate at the mercy of Him who sits on the throne and dwells in unapproachable light (1 Tim 6:16). It reminds me what the Protestant Reformer, Martin Luther, wrote on his deathbed. Luther’s very last written words were this:

“Wir sind bettler. Hoc est verum.”
We are beggars. This is true.

Bryan

It seems I’ve immersed myself into a self-inflicted bog of busyness. Student recommendations, ungraded tests, unfiled taxes, unpaid bills, incomplete online courses, daily lesson plans, and bible study preparations beckon my waning mental capital all at once. It’s not necessarily a lack of time, but a lack of unction that concerns me. It’s the direct result of a pathological procrastination that is my own (un)doing. When Spring HS football swings into full force (I’m coaching) I fear an outright quagmire will threaten to form.

More importantly, a loving wife and growing boy rightly claim my emotional capital. Not to mention the dirty diapers, dinners, Dora episodes and daily chores the whole family experience naturally brings with it. But my wife and son are my only earthly joys, and whatever competes with them gets swiftly pushed to the back-burner.

In the midst of these times, God gets the leftover scraps that remain of me. It’s not a complete overstatement to say God is the One that occasionally gets pushed to the back-burner when the activity reaches a frenzied pace. And much to my shame, sometimes I will keep Him there….for days at a time.

At this point, you may have made an astute observation along the lines of, “Quit writing this post you fool! Get to work and get off here!” Fair enough. But Blogs, Facebook, Youtube, etc. are all microcosms of the greater problem. In the end, we only do what we really want to do.

Now I am always mindful of God in my daily life. I do pray everyday, even though they mostly feel like the obligatory type, hastily tacked on at the end of a bedtime ritual. I am always chewing on some biblical truth in my thoughts, or applying a principle in some theoretical way. But when I get busy, that mental exercise has much more to do with relating some deep truth to people, not relating deeply to God. My spiritual life is thus projected manward and not Godward. I strain Him and His word just enough to squeeze out some substance for others, and when I’m done, I’m done until it’s time for others to be fed again. Many times public depth is just the bandaid over the festering wound of personal superficiality.

Let’s be honest. We know when we have communed with the God who is our Father and the Son who is our Bridegroom. We know when we have been gripped by a holy and high calling, ruined before His Holiness, and melting before His mercy in the cross of Christ. I ache for that to be my one vision in life, where despondency, laziness, lust, and fear are blown away by a baptism of redeeming love.

We can’t read the Acts narrative and not be swept up into the supernatural movement of God, the boldness of mere men, the fervent prayer life of the members, and the exponential explosions of the word and church (Acts 12:24, 12:5). We can’t help but notice how our local bodies (and individual body) seem to lack all of those norms for the early church. My personal lack of zeal concerning all these things can be deeply discouraging. And answers that bring up distinct dispensational ages are not satisfactory for me.

I appreciate the glimpses of personal humanity Paul gives in places like Romans 7:14-25 and 2 Corinthians 12:8-10. The Chief of Wretches didn’t wallow in self, but saw it as a malady to wage war against. It compels me further down the narrow road, to fight the good fight against self and sin (2 Tim 4:7, Rom 8:13).

Much more than that, I appreciate the glimpses of the humanity of Christ. That God would take on the form of a servant (Phil 2:7), humble Himself to the point of dying for His undeserving enemies (Phil 2:8, Rom 5:8), and then assure them of His daily presence and power (Matt 28:20).

I love the way a minor prophet puts it. While most of his prophetic energy throughout his book has been spent asserting the pending judgment of God for Israel’s idolatry, Micah leaves his readers with this gracious string of pearls, precious to all who would treasure Christ (Micah 7:18-19):

Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity and passing over transgression for the remnant of his inheritance? He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in steadfast love. He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.

God doesn’t just give mercy. God delights in giving you mercy. Like a father exulting over his blubberiing, wet, needy, newborn. It pleases Him, satisfies Him, gratifies Him in the deepest sense to express His mercy, even if that mercy highlights our own hardened deepseated iniquity. The cross shines higher and brighter with glory the more deeper it must plunge to forgive our depraved depths.

When our need of forgiveness is at it’s direst point, God delights in displaying His glorious sufficiency in feeling that need. If the cross speaks anything, it speaks to our utter depravity and inability to raise one finger to warrant God’s mercy or delight. As the only sufficient Giver of the mercy, He alone get’s the glory. And He delights in what gives Him the most glory. Because broken vessels of repentance and shame image forth the glories of His Son’s merciful and gracious sacrifice.

He really does delight to give us mercy. And He delights to cover us with the righteousness His mercy bought.

Where we see a wasteland of deserts and depravity residing within us, God sees the perfect precious blood of His dear Son and raging rivers of living water.

God delights in lavishing mercy on His remnant. Even those who are too busy, or lazy, or lustful, or fearful, or selfish, or depressed to see it or experience it this very moment. Even those who are prayerless and passionless. Praise God. It is His delight to give mercy to ones such as these.

Bryan